Get-Away Days

This past weekend, my husband and I enjoyed a wonderful time traveling with another couple to Cape May, New Jersey. In the aftermath of the recent unusual and surreal natural disasters, namely the earthquake centered approximately 60 miles from our town which shook my house as well as thousands of others up and down the east coast, then Hurricane Irene whose gale-force winds caused mature sycamore trees to bend over like little daisies blowing in a field, followed by severe rains that dismantled nearby roads and washed over two huge bison in the Hershey Park zoo, ultimately leading to their demise, we needed this get-away.

This mini-vacation had been scheduled long before the earth quaked, before the rains and winds pounded around our home, and before I felt so vulnerable. The dates of this get-away had been marked off on my calendar for well over a month. As the days following the storms passed and we surveyed the damage either via television or through our own front windows, there were times when I hesitated about going away at all. There were moments when I questioned traveling more than 200 miles from home and leaving my two girls (who are very capable of taking care of themselves) alone.

What if something happens while we're away? What if we get into an accident while we are driving? Who will be there for my children if I die? Should we cancel the trip all together? The pricey hotel rooms had already been booked and carried a "no refund" policy. Am I overreacting? How can I possibly proceed with this?

Coupled with the approaching anniversary of the attacks on our country ten years ago, those questions brought a sense of angst and worry within me. Then I remembered particular scripture verses that spoke to me. One is Jeremiah 29:11, which states, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." You see, during those days after the storms raged through my town as well as in my mind, I foolishly began focusing on my presence here on earth, and not on God's plans for me - as His child. I was stuck on the side of the storms and refused to see the blessings waiting on the other side.

God knew about those storms, and in His sovereignty He allowed them to happen. We don't always understand why events occur and why innocent people and animals have to suffer and die. We only know that God keeps all His promises, and that He gives us the hope that we need each day. Without hope, we're just those small daisies blowing in the wind. But with the promises of our Lord, the hope we have in Him allows us to see the real reason we're here at all: to press on and trust Him even through the storms of life.

Don't live life in fear of tomorrow. It only robs you of the joy of today. God has a plan for you. All you need to do is trust in Him to carry you through the storms to the blessings that await you on the other side.

Mature and Complete - Not Yet, But Still Learning!

It's been FOUR years! February 20th, 2006, was the day I found out that breast cancer was a part of me. A big part. Never, not ever, did I imagine that it could possibly happen to me - a runner, a healthy mom of three young children, and a woman with no risk factors normally associated with the disease. Words cannot describe my emotions when I found out. Like all of us who've been through it, I think we can all agree that hearing, 'You have cancer,' are words that have affected us beyond our imaginations.

Ironically, some survivors proclaim that their cancer has actually been a blessing to them. Unlike those individuals, I cannot (and never could) tie the words blessing and cancer together. Oh, I tried, believe me. I remember numerous conversations with many sympathetic, well-intentioned people, when I valiantly tried to link the two nouns together as I spoke. But my attempts failed miserably at this ruse, numerous times. Sadly, I couldn't help but sense that oh-so-familiar, knot-like feeling growing stronger within my stomach each time I heard myself using those two words in the same sentence. I just couldn't proclaim it - and really mean it - that cancer was a blessing to me.

Initially, a big part of me actually felt embarrassed or even somewhat guilty when I was unable (or perhaps, unwilling?) to see the journey as a blessing. Yes, I realize that there are countless scripture verses that encourage us to view our struggles as blessings and to actually find some joy in them.

One of my favorite verses is found in the book of James 1:2-4: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Those verses, especially the last one, have made me ponder long and hard about the nature of becoming mature and complete. Just imagine how wonderful it will be when we find ourselves so fulfilled and spiritually whole, that we lack nothing! In other words, there will be a day when we will continuously practice courteousness, humility, selflessness, altruism, forgiveness, and sacrifice, without fail. Sounds a lot like the attributes of Christ, don't they?

So, over the years I've begun to think of cancer in a different way: I may not feel blessed by cancer, but I know that I have been changed by it. And I've listed a few of these changes below:

First, I've learned to believe in the old adage: "Never say never."

Second, people generally love the opportunity to help you when you need it, so I've learned to swallow my silly pride, at least for a little while, and ask for assistance when necessary.

Third, life is way too short to hold on to anger. When you stop and think about it, it's generally not worth it, so I try to let it go.

Fourth, birthdays will never again be days that I dread. Each birthday I celebrate is a true blessing. I can't stand it when people bemoan reaching the age of 40, or 50 or whatever birthday they happen to be celebrating. (That old "knot" starts to tighten up once again!)

Fifth, I have learned to take each day as it comes, the good with the bad. Only God knows what tomorrow will bring, and I need to constantly remind myself that He is in complete control. Fretting on my part is unhealthy, unproductive, destructive and time-consuming.

I know that I have long way to go in order to being fully mature and complete. It's been four years, and I still feel like an infant when it comes to mastering spiritual maturity. But really, when I stop to think about it, maybe the blessings that I've been unable to uncover within the word cancer have been there all along. I just need to view this struggle through Christ's eyes, not my own. Because when I do that, it is then - and only then - that I will truly be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I am just curious, friends: How has cancer - or for that matter, any trial - changed you?

Savoring This Time

I just love Friday afternoons: no homework to check for tomorrow; no piano, art or any other lesson to race my children off to; no major commitments scribbled on the calendar for this evening; and especially, I love the anticipation of sleeping in on Saturday morning and enjoying a cup of coffee, sans the usual hectic school routine. It's been a long week, but thankfully, the weekend is approaching, and I feel more than blessed for all that I have. And for all that I am capable of doing. Every day. I'm savoring this time. Right now. Today. This minute. On Friday, as well as on each and every day, God is so good to me.